if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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