in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
