i just wanna soil my oats bro
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize