i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
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While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
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He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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