just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize