how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
