I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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