i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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