Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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