we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Randomize
