Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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