this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I am naked and annoyed.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
