The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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