summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
