I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
do herpes really smell.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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