i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I want to fling myself into the sun
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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