I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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