hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
They took my balls.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Randomize
