I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize