Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
