if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
