Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
