It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
