..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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