hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I showed him my bush... on skype.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
