The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
