With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
