Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
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Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
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We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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