i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
