I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
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I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
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The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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