shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
