Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
