threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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