Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
