He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
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I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
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