her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
