"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
another moral hangover. fuck.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password