dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Randomize
