I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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