we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
How's work?
Spinning.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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