I just saw a hot homeless man
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
