i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
