thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
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