And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
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I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
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Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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