i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
