I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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