If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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