I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Randomize
