I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize