watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
