I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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