i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
