i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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