the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
