And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
