I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Can I color on your dick again?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
