That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
