Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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